My 5 Year Plan

I am Morgan Marquelle Jensen. I am a student, both in high school and in college. I am an athlete who loves endurance sports and dancing. I am a leader. I love languages, cultures, people and God. I am faithful in what I do but occasionally I overbook myself to the point where I become overwhelmed. I am the daughter of Marque and Janeen: ex-farmers, pastor, and PCA. I am the youngest with two older brothers. I am an aunt. I am a child of God.
 

There is one question that I absolutely hate and that is when people ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I know I’m mature but people expect me to have a 5 year plan of my life written out; I’m only 17! People always try to define you by what you do thus I now answer the question in the same way that Shane Claiborne did, “I’m not too concerned with what I’m going to do. I’m more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people.”

  I’m sure you never heard that goal before but just think of the possibilities! It’s great when a person creates a goal to better him/herself but sometimes it can get to a point where your goal is no longer out of self improvement but is instead rooted in vanity. If I wanted to I could go to med school or get a business degree and work a corporate job. Both jobs I would be almost guaranteed to make enough money to live a great life, buy a big house, and save up for a happily ever after in retirement. This is not what I want to do. Instead I choose to do what God calls me to do; that is to love Him and love others. If God calls me to be a doctor, then I will do it but right now I feel that I am being called to do missions for a year after high school before hitting the books, once again, at a university.

I guess there are two main things that I need to do before heading off to Youth With A Mission (aka YWAM) to spend 6 months studying the Bible and sharing the love of Jesus. The first is that I need to finish high school but not only will I finish high school, I will also be finishing my first year of college by way of PSEO. PSEO, also known as post secondary education option, allows me to take classes at a university or college and receive both credit for my required high school classes as well as my general education in college. Next year, I am planning to attend North Central University full time thus saving me a couple thousands of dollars in college debt and also placing me one year ahead so that after my gap year I can jump back in at the same time as everyone else.

The other big thing I need to do before my gap year is fundraise. With YWAM I spend the first 3 months in what they call a DTS, discipleship training school, and then the next 3 months in missions. The money I need to fundraise pays for travel fees, room, board, food, materials, donations, and whatever else the program needs to pay for for someone to come there. In order to get the money that I need I will find the base that I plan to go to and see how much I need to fundraise. I will write letters asking for donations and will give up Christmas and birthday presents in order to have more money to go for my trip. I will probably also have to work some that way I can buy things for my friends and family, home in Minneapolis, to remind them that I still love them.

In the 17 years of my lifetime, I have always been blessed to have a continuous chain of positive people in my life to support me in my decisions and to keep me going in the right direction. One person who helped me in my biggest 180 degree turns was Heidi Govednik, our renter and hairdresser who later became my mentor and the closest person I have to being an older sister. She came in my life at the most perfect of timing and caught me as I was falling into the pit of an eating disorder. I literally I have no idea where I would be in my life today if God had not sent her my way.

The next great influence happened as I was going into my freshman year of high school. The house behind us, which had previously been an empty lot, had a bunch of new guys move into it. These young adults were fresh out of Bethel University and full of energy to impact and love the people around them that God has placed in their lives. I was one of those people. These men and along with the people who came to their Sunday night church have have shown me what it really looks like to live out a Christian faith in the way it was intended to be lived.

The last person who brought me to where I am now and this goal is actually one of the guys-from-the-house-behind-me’s sister, Emily. Emily has gone through a lot and is someone that I really look up to. Last year, Emily decided to do YWAM after high school and absolutely loved the experience. She opened up the idea of taking a year off to serve and learn more about God to me. Choosing to do YWAM also has shown me how great it will be to go into college having experienced more of the world and to also, hopefully, know a little more the direction in which God is pointing me to.

We live in a world where people focus a lot on themselves. We make these 5 year plans that people expect from us to show that we are in control, our life is stable, everything is good and we become independent just like how our world wants us. I feel that this is why so many Christians in this world are lukewarm and look and act just like everyone else in society. They act like their lives are perfect because they have everything they need and more. 

This pressure is what holds many christians back from doing the will of God. They say that they are comfortable with the way their lives are and they don’t want it to change so instead they silently say, “We’re good God. We don’t need you now.” I don’t want to tell God that my life is completely together, yet I do it daily simply by waking up in my warm bed and going downstairs for a bowl of cereal.  I want to learn what it’s like to depend on him every single day, because I can’t take every day for granted. I want to learn more about the people that are forgotten about and outcast, to build relationships with them and be their friend because life isn’t about being comfy in my own private box. I was created to love God and that’s what I’m going to do.

As a summary, you can conclude this is not your normal paper. I am also not your normal high schooler. I’m Morgan Jensen, teen just doing what God asks me to do. There is no way to say what my life will be like or how I, as a person, will dramatically change after my year off. I have no idea what will happen yet I know that God will. They call this faith but also I think it is one of those english words where the word itself doesn’t do itself justice. It’s a feeling that I can’t use language to describe how it affects my way of thinking but it’s with this faith that I trust that whatever happens after that year to the Morgan in the first paragraph will only be better shaped and molded into the person God is creating me to be.

It's a brand new year. Time to make resolutions or try something new in hopes that these things will stick with you in the long term (although, sad to say, most fail). On the first day of the new year, 2012, my friends and I decided to sit down and watch the extended-edition, butt-numbing,  every-movie, all 11.5 hours of Lord of the Rings.

This was the first time I've seen all of them. In fact it was the first time I had seen any of them (I know I’m behind the times) yet, I knew the plot and characters because my two older brothers were fanatics of the trilogy when it first came out. For those of you who haven't seen them, it's a great series filled with action, romance, humor, and a fantastic soundtrack (In fact I'm listening to it while I type this). Along with all the excitement and dramatic scenes, the movie has a much deeper meaning behind the film.

I’m sure there have been hundreds of youth pastors and pastors who have preached sermons on relating the Bible and Lord of the Rings. There was once a class offered at Bethel doing just so. My friend and I enjoy finding parallels between mainstream movies and the Bible and so I,m putting my thoughts into a blog post. (p.s. I did have a little help from google to help enhance my ideas).

The "ring" I see as representing evil. Thoughout the entire movie(s) people are tempted by the ring. The temptation of this ring is so overpowering that even Gandalf and the Elfish Princess can't handle it's power and turn away from it in order to resist giving in.

In James 1:14-15 (NLT)
"Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires. These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death."

Gollum lets the ring take over his life, as some people do with letting evil/sin taking over and controlling their lives, he was obsessed and let it have power over him.

Luckily, Frodo (the ring bearer) had a fellowship of people to encourage him in getting rid of the ring. As Christians we too need a friends and a community of other Christian believers to help us in living the life that Christ wants us to live.  People who are like Sam, who was trustworthy and accountable and willing to help bear the ring with Frodo, would go though anything to help him get rid of it.
Galatians 6:1-2 (NLT)  "Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ."

Another thing I was reminded about was that God uses everyday, ordinary people to do his will. This ring could destroy all of Middle Earth (or whatever their world was called) if someone didn't throw it into Mount Doom. Many people got close to destroying the ring but the temptation was too big for them to get rid of and thus they kept it, causing more problems in their world. It shows us how God's ways are not our ways and that ...

"When the power of evil confronts us with overwhelming odds on its side, the answer is not to fight fire with fire, but to look for deliverance in unexpected places.” -Greg Hanson

We look to God for what his will is for us because it's different than what the world offers us. He doesn't always call for the most successful and most talented but sometimes it's just a little Hobbit from the Shire.

In the end of the second movie, The Two Towers, Frodo begins to lose hope in the purpose of their quest. This is my favorite line in all the movies where Frodo says, "I can't do this, Sam" and Sam replies,

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."

Frodo asks, "What are we holding on to, Sam?". "That there is something good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for."

In our lives we shouldn't even be here "for we are dead in our transgression and sins but it is by Christ’s death on a cross that makes us alive" (Ephesians 2:5). But we are and we are made with a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11). And everyone goes though dark times where it seems as if there is no light at the end of the road but the darkness passes and a new day comes with chances to try again (Psalms 118:24). I think that this means for us as Christians to pick up our cross and to daily die to our self to follow Christ (Luke 9:23); to hold on to the His cross and persevere because there is a purpose and meaning behind living this life. To live for something bigger than our self. To live for Him.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Going downtown Thursday morning to take the bus,

and the smell of Cindy's Cinnamon Roasted Nuts.

The Farmer's Market is in full swing, 

but business men and women just walk to their jobs,

 don't notice a thing.

Like the clown juggling, making a scene.

People are sipping their Starbucks: the bitter coffee bean. 

Many different people fill the atmosphere,

you might as well observe it now that your here.

Black, white, latino, and asian.

An old woman hobbles off the bus,

daycare children walk in a line.

The ages come together in a beautiful design.

Hmong women sell their fresh veggies, 

competing with the Mennonite women who sell theirs. 

People stand along the wall of skyscrapers smoking cigarettes.

Muslim women walk in the humid Minnesota weather,

 their beautiful headdresses as light as a feather. 

In the midst of all the city life,

a homeless man lifts up praises to the King

not caring what others may think, 

because he know's that God's the real thing. 

People on bikes and others on foot.

Why don't they even stop to take a look?

To embrace this world that we live in.

The people, the cultures, the sights and the smells.

This is the world that you are apart of. 

Take in all in and live in the now. 

 

My peach colored hands, that hold this pen

Your loving hands, that hold the world

My blue eyes, that see imperfection

Your all seeing eyes, see potential in all

My heart, that longs to beat for you yet clings to things of this world

Your heart, has all of the world, but your jealous and crazy about me

My hands, that, can help or can hurt

Your hands, formed me; every fingertip and crease

You said, "I am created, fearfully and wonderfully"

Yet you, never created, but always was,

are more fearful and wonderful than anything that could every exist

You made me who I am,

You know my name,

You call me your child,

And do I bother to ask why you even know the number of hairs on my head?

Your son died for me

Was whipped, beaten, and hung

on a cross.

Just so that the mistakes I've made can be erased and wiped clean

Why?

Because you're God.

Because you choose:

To love me.

To love you.

To love us.

Crazy Love

I'm reading the book, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. It is such an amazing and influential book even though I'm only 60 pages into it. Today, as I was reading this book it talked about a girl named Brooke. I wanted to share with you the essay she wrote when she was 12 and about what Chan wrote about her from the book.

“Since I Have My Life Before Me”
By Brooke Bronkowski

I’ll live my life to the fullest. I’ll be happy. I’ll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.

You see, I’ll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I’ll have moments, good and bad, but I’ll wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that’s all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I’ll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I’ll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.

I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!

Brooke Bronkowski was a beautiful fourteen-year-old girl who was in love with Jesus. When she was in junior high she started a Bible study on her campus. She spent her babysitting money on Bibles so she could give them to her unsaved friends. Youth pastors who heard about this bought her boxes of Bibles to give away. During her freshman year in high school, Brooke was in a car accident while driving to the movies. Her life on earth ended when she was just fourteen, but her impact didn’t. Nearly fifteen hundred people attended Brooke’s memorial service. People from her public high school read poems she had written about her love for God. Everyone spoke of her example and joy. I shared the gospel and invited those who wanted to know Jesus to come up and give their lives to Him. There must have been at least two hundred students on their knees at the front of the church praying for salvation. Ushers gave a Bible to each one of them. They were Bibles that Brooke had kept in her garage, hoping to give out to all of her unsaved friends. In one day, Brooke led more people to the Lord than most ever will. In her brief fourteen years on earth, Brooke was faithful to Christ. Her life was not wasted. The words from her essay seem prophetic: “You see, I’ll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age.” Sadly, many people die while living selfishly…. The truth is, some people waste their lives…. I think it’s easy to hear a story like Brooke’s and just move on, without acknowledging that it could just as easily be you or me or my wife or your brother whose life ends suddenly. You could be the next person in your family to die. I could be the next person at my church to die. We have to realize it. We have to believe it enough that it changes how we live. A friend of mine has a particularly wise perspective on this subject. He was asked if he weren’t spending too much of his time serving and giving too much away. His gentle but honest response was, “I wonder if you’ll say that after we’re dead.”

I know lots of old people or at least lots of people older then me, alive. People say they will go to college, get a good job, marry a wonderful spouse, have lots of kids, make lots of money, grow old, and to simply live a great life.

Is that really how it works? Not in reality.

I may sound like a downer but you just have to know that tomorrow isn't granted. The interactions that you have with the people around you may be the last you could have with them in your lifetime, is the truth. What if we stopped concentrating on what time we needed to be someplace and when the next event is on the schedule? Instead we started to slow down the pace of life to make conversations, friends, and to share the love of Jesus Christ? If we stopped grumbling about how long the line is at Starbucks or how dumb school is but enjoyed the moment and lived it to be the best that it could possible be. To stop living a selfish life and to become selfless. To not look at our interests all the times but take interest in others. To loose our identity, our hopes, our dreams but instead to find them in God.

I don't know...it's just an idea.

Butterflies have Wings Too